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Many of us are surviving and thriving in spaces that weren't designed with our identities and experiences in mind.
No matter your identity, you deserve happiness, joy, and acceptance and celebration for who you are.
Throughout history and still today, some groups of people are treated differently based on identity. These groups are often referred to as having “marginalized identities.” To marginalize means to treat a person or group as though they are insignificant or less than others – to push them to the margins of society where they may be disempowered and overlooked.
Some individuals who experience marginalization include:
- people who are Black or African American, Native American or Indigenous, Hispanic or Latina/o/e, Asian or Pacific Islander, and other races that are not White
- people with disabilities
- people with lower incomes
- people experiencing poverty
- people who are religious minorities in the place they live, such as people who are Jewish or Muslim in the United States
- older adults
- the LGBTQ+ community
- women and girls
Unjust treatment toward people with marginalized identities is called discrimination. Facing discrimination based on your racial identity (racism), gender identity (sexism), sexual orientation (sexualism), or any other aspects of your identity can cause stress and have other negative impacts on health and well-being.
Some negative effects of discrimination may include:
- feeling stress
- felling anxiety
- experiencing lower confidence, self-esteem
- backing out of responsibilities–especially last minute
- backing out of relationships, including friendships or romantic relationships
- not pursuing opportunities you’re capable of
- quitting opportunities you’ve earned (like school, jobs, roles in groups or teams)
What discrimination looks like
Discrimination can take on many different forms, but all have negative impacts on the person experiencing discrimination and the community.
No matter what it looks like or how often it happens, facing discrimination is often deeply traumatic.
Some terms you may hear include:
One way to think about the different ways people experience discrimination is to think of a weed*.
In this metaphor,
- The roots are systemic oppression. Systemic oppression leads to and supports all other experiences of discrimination but is difficult to notice or see.
- The flower is overt discrimination: This is the behavior we automatically think of when we think of discrimination or oppression. It is what makes a weed stand out in a garden or lawn and is considered the most offensive or noticeable part of the weed.
- The leaves and stem are microaggressions: At first glance, the leaves and stems may be hard to see—they can blend in with lawns and other plants—and they might not be considered as objectionable as a showy flower. However, the leaves and stems actually make up a much larger part of the plant than the flower.
Roots, stems and flowers all play a role in keeping the plant alive and helping it spread. To kill or remove a weed we must remove it from the roots.
*This metaphor was adapted from some similar analogies. Specifically, it drew from the iceberg analogy and the oppression tree.
Dealing with discrimination
Ways people cope: Adaptive behaviors
People who face discrimination, especially on a regular basis, learn how to survive its negative impacts in many different ways. Some ways of coping can be considered positive or even strengths. However, some ways of coping may actually be harmful to health and well-being (e.g., substance abuse). It’s important to remember a person behaving in these maladaptive ways isn’t bad or wrong – they are surviving the trauma of experiencing discrimination the best way they know how.
Regardless of how a person deals with discrimination, it’s important to acknowledge and celebrate their ability to survive and cope. Once a person is seen for the ways they have already shown strength and resiliency, the easier it may be for them to shift away from maladaptive behaviors and toward healthier ways to cope.
Healthier ways to cope: Tools for your toolbox
Dealing with discrimination takes a toll on your body and mind, and there is no one right way to cope. Here are some practices that may help:
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Coping in the moment: Breathing box
Inhale through your nose to the count of four, hold the breath in for four, exhale through your nose to the count of four and hold again for four seconds. Repeat this grounding practice five times to settle your nervous system.
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Practice affirmations
Try the affirmations activity to guide you through practicing spoken or written daily affirmations that you remind you are:
- capable of great things
- skilled enough for the task at hand
- worthy of your accomplishments.
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Build pride
Take time to write out what’s great about you and your identities. What makes you proud? What are your accomplishments and talents? Make a list and refer to it when you’re feeling down. The Understanding Identity worksheet might be a good place to start!
Whether it’s by talking to members of your community, consuming media from people with a similar identity, or doing research online or at the library, take time to learn more about and celebrate your cultural heritage and history, and the notable people from your community.
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Maintain a healthy social support network
Experiencing negative thoughts about yourself or others with similar identities? Write down what you believe to be true about yourself. Evaluate the statements with a trusted friend or family member who you trust. Ask what they think.
Connect with others who share the same experiences as you and support one another. You can also use this activity to reflect on who is in your support network.
Be with people and in places that make you feel safe. If a person, place or group feels unhealthy for you, set boundaries about when, how often or if you choose to seek them out.
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Stand up against oppression
Is there someone in your life who behaves in discriminatory ways? Consider having an honest conversation with that person or someone else you trust. Check out these tips on healthy communication to help get you started. Remember–you deserve respect no matter what.
If you experience unfair treatment (like discrimination or racism) or if you see someone else experience it, call out the unfair act or talk to a trusted adult. Challenging the act may not get rid of the stress, but it can make the stress less intense.
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Healing practices
Our day-to-day lives are full of naturally healing activities. These can look different for everyone. Try out your personal, familial or community healing practices and see what works for you. Some examples may include:
- sharing a meal
- time in nature
- talking with peers or elders
- gathering together
- spiritual or faith practices.
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Therapy
Talk to a trusted adult about seeing a mental health practitioner. Check out this resource on seeking mental health services and support under the age of 18.
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Advocate
Many people find challenging systemic oppression to be an important way to heal from discrimination. After taking care of yourself, you can look for opportunities to participate in advocacy through groups and events in your community, school, or at the state or federal level.
